Sandwiched Generation?

That's what they call us when we are dealing with aging parents AND children. Right now I think I am more of an open-faced sandwich - at that happy time when my own girls are pretty well established, independent and about as happy as they make their minds up to be. Which most of the time is pretty happy.

But my parents are a different story. Fiercely independent, they have resisted our best efforts to move them to an apartment where they can get more services which would actually support their independence, not thwart it as they fear. But who know's how I would react if someone wanted to move me out of the house I have lived in for over 60 years? So my brothers and I are trying to really listen to them, and attempting to set up home health and chore services which will allow them to stay put a little while longer. Does it matter how we feel about this, or is "what matters" how they feel? Who would really feel better if they moved? Dad will be 88 and he still delivers "meals on wheels to old people" and drags bales of hay to feed the deer in the field across the street from his house. Mother (85) might benefit more from the move - less isolation and loneliness, more variety in meals, more careful monitoring of her health issues - but will she really be happy, if he isn't? I'll be honest - I have a hard time picturing my parents moving anywhere by choice. Sometimes I think it's their generation - children of the Great Depression and young adults of World War II, a lot of things happened to them that didn't involve choice. Contrast that with my life as a boomer, and my children born in the 80's. It's always been about choice with us! Make good choices has been our mantra! We even go so far as to pat ourselves on the back, saying that much of our life is good because we made good choices! But what seems to matter here is that my parents are pretty accustomed to taking what life hands out, without asking for much or expecting anyone to make things better. What matters is that without even knowing it, they have made a choice. And I doubt if they will ever feel it was the wrong choice.