"Auld lang syne" we sing tonight - we sing for times gone by. 2010 has just hours left now and I count it among the special years of my life - the year in which I became a grandmother to BJM. His birth overshadowed most other events this year, prompting our many trips to Chicago and even holding J to just one trip to canoe country! And that's a first! Other good things happened too: C met D, her gentle giant and we are growing to know and love him as we observe how happy he makes her. We had many good times with friends and family - a 4th of July celebration where B was introduced to his MN family and Thanksgiving weekend where we gathered to welcome him to his faith family in Baptism.

For auld Lang syne, times gone by, we raise a glass and toast a very good year.

They made me feel like I matter!

Most of us live pretty ordinary lives so we are stopped in our tracks when anyone makes us feel otherwise. That happened to me last evening while I was attending a "women's night out" at my church. It was a fun evening - wine and cheese, sitting with some women who have been in and out of my life through the years, and with some younger women I hadn't met before. The entertainment was a peppy musical group - three sisters who grew up in southern MN and now perform original music and poetry about their home and family life. The program turned slightly serious (and I noticed a few ladies slipped out) when the moderator asked us to participate in discussions at our tables about spirituality as we are experiencing it today. We were asked to describe how we deal with stress, how does faith and spirituality help us (or does it?) - what can this women's group do to help etc. I listened (and of course I talked!) but I wasn't prepared to hear the impact my words had on 2 younger women who came over to me at the program's end and asked if I would "mentor" them through experiences I have already survived and help prepare them for other passages. I was curious that their own mothers are alive and well, living nearby and immediately wondered why I, a perfect stranger would so interest them for this kind of guidance. But then I thought of my own daughters and how difficult it is to negotiate all the "roles" we play in each other's lives. Sometimes it's like dancing, we are listening to the same music but hearing the beat differently, and occasionally that results in stepping on each other's toes! Or worse, tripping one another to a fall.
This has happened to me. And it's usually my fault because I have failed to separate the message from the messenger. But I am learning that when they don't take my advice, or they are disinterested in what interests me, this isn't a reflection on how they feel about me as their mother. It simply means they have grown into being their own persons, which is what we aim to do in this parenting stuff, after all! I would never expect my own daughters to be so up front about wanting my opinion but I have to say I was seriously flattered by what happened last evening. And I'm sure looking forward to meeting my new friends for breakfast soon.

Goals for October

1) Work out at the J 12 times and collect $20 from Health Partners

2) Paint the Ralph Room

3) Have Don (electrician) put in another outlet so I can eliminate the ugly cord hanging from the wall mounted tv

4) Visit mom and dad 2 more times this month

5) Go to Chicago to cuddle with the Benj

6) Visit my  homebound neighbor - not because she is so, but because I really like her and want to get to know her better

Back to Blogging

I've decided that I'm not really very good at this blogging business. I think about it alot, and even "write" posts in my head but I seem to have a hard time actually doing it. But one thing I like is that there are really no rules, and it doesn't matter that I haven't been "here" for almost year. I'm ready to go again.

Much has happened in the past year! Best of all is the birth of BJM on April 16, 2010. I really hadn't thought much about what it would be like to be a grandparent and even with 9 months to get ready, there is no way to be prepared for the overwhelming love you feel when your child becomes a parent. N and J shared so much with us during the time we waited for "Bosco" to be born, and they lovingly welcomed us to be there shortly after B's birth. For me, the most touching moment of all was when N turned to me while she was holding her new baby son and said these poignant words, "Mom, this is just the best thing I have ever done."

I've lost track of the number of times J and I have driven to Chicago - sometimes just for the day to hold our sweet baby grandson. I never imagined we would be able to spend so much time with him during these first 5 months and we treasure every memory we have made - all the feedings, the bathtimes, stroller rides (inside and out) and just watching him sleep - in the "boppy" or his bouncy chair, or on his playmat. My personal favorites are the times I have spent rocking him to sleep. I love holding him close, breathing deeply his baby smells. He has beautiful blue eyes and a head of fluffy soft curls that are dark at the tips but becoming lighter underneath so that he looks to have a halo when the sun shines on him. He has the most kissable cheeks! I call him "dollface" or "angel baby" but mostly he has become "the Benj" and like all grandparents we think he is the best, most wondrous baby ever!