They made me feel like I matter!

Most of us live pretty ordinary lives so we are stopped in our tracks when anyone makes us feel otherwise. That happened to me last evening while I was attending a "women's night out" at my church. It was a fun evening - wine and cheese, sitting with some women who have been in and out of my life through the years, and with some younger women I hadn't met before. The entertainment was a peppy musical group - three sisters who grew up in southern MN and now perform original music and poetry about their home and family life. The program turned slightly serious (and I noticed a few ladies slipped out) when the moderator asked us to participate in discussions at our tables about spirituality as we are experiencing it today. We were asked to describe how we deal with stress, how does faith and spirituality help us (or does it?) - what can this women's group do to help etc. I listened (and of course I talked!) but I wasn't prepared to hear the impact my words had on 2 younger women who came over to me at the program's end and asked if I would "mentor" them through experiences I have already survived and help prepare them for other passages. I was curious that their own mothers are alive and well, living nearby and immediately wondered why I, a perfect stranger would so interest them for this kind of guidance. But then I thought of my own daughters and how difficult it is to negotiate all the "roles" we play in each other's lives. Sometimes it's like dancing, we are listening to the same music but hearing the beat differently, and occasionally that results in stepping on each other's toes! Or worse, tripping one another to a fall.
This has happened to me. And it's usually my fault because I have failed to separate the message from the messenger. But I am learning that when they don't take my advice, or they are disinterested in what interests me, this isn't a reflection on how they feel about me as their mother. It simply means they have grown into being their own persons, which is what we aim to do in this parenting stuff, after all! I would never expect my own daughters to be so up front about wanting my opinion but I have to say I was seriously flattered by what happened last evening. And I'm sure looking forward to meeting my new friends for breakfast soon.

Goals for October

1) Work out at the J 12 times and collect $20 from Health Partners

2) Paint the Ralph Room

3) Have Don (electrician) put in another outlet so I can eliminate the ugly cord hanging from the wall mounted tv

4) Visit mom and dad 2 more times this month

5) Go to Chicago to cuddle with the Benj

6) Visit my  homebound neighbor - not because she is so, but because I really like her and want to get to know her better