Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What would it say?

If only this trunk could talk!

Now that mother is gone and dad is occupying just a few rooms of the house they lived in for almost 60 years, he is encouraging us to take things that he isn't using. We are attempting to empty the second floor of the house which has largely served as a gigantic store room for them the past 40 years. This is a huge project; there is a lot of junk to be hauled away. They have the largest collection of empty boxes I have ever seen -probably spanning 25 years of purchases and gifts. And enough empty ice cream pails to...I'm not sure what.

But there are pleasant surprises too. I opened a desk drawer to find stacks of artwork done by their six grandchildren during their childhood years, many of the drawings done at the kitchen table during family visits. Another drawer held stacks of cards and letters marking holidays and special occasions through the years - mostly from family members and many from mother's special friends, most of whom have preceded her in death in recent years. Mother and dad didn't travel far from home but she kept every postcard they received from their children and grandchildren who are well-travelled and were dutiful in sharing these experiences.

I found old newspaper clippings about my mother's success on the golf course in the 70s and 80s and her contributions to the community as the supervisor of an all-volunteer gift store for many years. I realize now, that busy raising my own family, I was unaware how rich and full my parents' lives were. During those years, mother and I lost some of the closeness we had shared during my first 30 years and our visits and phone conversations were less frequent. I found momentos from trips they took during that time that I can't even recall. I discovered bags of yarn and several half finished knitting and crochet projects but I don't remember seeing my mother ever do either. Was the "disconnect" as big as it now seems? And I wonder if the same thing will happen to me and my daughters as we enter the same time period in our life experience.

It would please my mother to know that N now has one of the trunks that has sat for years in the upstairs closet. I recall that this trunk, and it's companion were always slightly mysterious to me, and it was an occasion of awe when mother opened them to deposit or remove some special item. I was my childhood self last month when I lifted the heavy lid and carefully removed things I hadn't seen or touched in more than 30 years. I found a blue knit suit she last wore in the 50's, and the First Communion suit worn by my brothers almost 60 years ago. There I found a blue and a pink baby blanket, and at the very bottom a small box containing the top piece from their wedding cake - a little soldier with his bride, a testimony to their end of World War II wedding in 1944. Reaching the very bottom, the 1954 newspaper lining crumbled at my touch.

I know these trunks have been in my parent's home for all their married life, 67 years but clearly they are older even. Where did they come from and where have they been? I know my grandparents lived in South Dakota in the early part of the 1900s and I suspect these trunks traveled with them those years. How I wish now that I had asked my mother what she knew about the trunks! And if only the trunks could talk!